You can never be bored in Uganda. There’s always something dramatic happening in the news. As we dance along in this political theatre, waiting—both eagerly and nervously—for the election year of 2026, we find our best entertainment, as always, in the politicians.

This time around, Uganda has unleashed more than enough presidential aspirants to keep us glued to our screens. Besides M7 himself and his usual opponents—who, like desert cacti, keep springing back year after year despite endless defeats—we now have a flood of Generation Zs and late millennials joining the race.

Now, I don’t know if this reflects a genuine exhaustion with the 40-year regime and a newfound democratic zeal, or if it’s just a calculated kavuyo designed to distract our short attention spans from the real issues. Either way, I’m seated comfortably with my popcorn.

I even tried counting them, but I lost track somewhere along the way. From where I stopped, there were at least 12 ‘Gen Z’ presidential hopefuls, each armed with a grand vision to “turn the country around” and “claim back power.” As of 19th August, news headlines read that 175 people have picked the nomination forms. Some seem genuinely motivated by a desire for change, while others look like they were poked in the ribs and shoved into the nominations office against their will.

But here’s the part that leaves me scratching my head. Ugandans never tire of lamenting about poverty—how they’re broke, how the economy is crushing them, how they’re living below the poverty line, feasting on peanuts and vibes. Yet somehow, these same Ugandans are raising 40 million shillings (about $11,000) just to apply for nominations. If that’s poverty, then my friends, I’ve been reading the wrong dictionary. Clearly, Ugandans HAVE money—they just love to rant. Many of these fresh aspirants are barely over 25 years old! If someone drops 40 million shillings in my lap loke this!, I’m building a house and opening a factory within two months. Meanwhile, one girl straight out of high school managed to raise it. Excuse me?

Now, let me tell you about my favourite candidates. The first is none other than David Magezi William, a 25-year-old whose English is a thing of legend. I’ve seen him in the news before—last year he went viral for his bombastic grammar. And bombastic it is! Listening to him makes you wonder if your English teachers were underpaid. To him, Uganda’s politics are best described as—and I quote—“a state of political fiasco mogimogi, the madan-deficit… a destabilitating lobotomizing… daps-davidam, political ddo-odo-overy saga kum-gaga-kum.” Don’t even ask me to type it twice—my autocorrect is already on life support. I honestly don’t know if these are actual words, but if they aren’t, Oxford needs to fly him in and add them to the next edition. Because trust me, it sounds like English when he says it. Watch the short interview here.

Then there’s Omugenzi Peterson, another gem. Probably in his 40s, he showed up at the nominations office in full suit and tie—on the top half of his body. On the bottom? A pair of shorts. When asked why, he proudly declared that he was representing “omuntu wa’wansi”—literally “the person down below”—the underdog or the less privileged who cannot afford luxurious “ suits worn by the people of uptown” and how the economy has turned against its own people. Basically we have Zelensky here at home.
And then on being asked how the nominations went, he shared that his wife Nakato had hidden his application papers and indeed was very distraught the entire interview. He proceeded to pass on to her a message through the news anchors; ‘Nakato!! Sikusanga ewange’ -meaning ‘Nakato!! Let me not find you at my home’ Did we just witness a public divorce😂. Poor Nakato. But also why did she hide the man’s papers?


And then there’s the fresh high school graduate, 20 year old Jorine Najjemba. She’s young, eager, and determined to lead change. Honestly, it’s refreshing to see women stepping forward to contest at such a level. Unfortunately the last female Presidential candidate we had in the 2021 election got only 0.37% of the national votes. I hope Jorine can go through the vetting and represent our cause as women. But at the same time, doesn’t she have like college or a career to pursue. Surely at no more than 20 years old, she probably has much more to life to witness – such as your spouse stealing your nominations forms….- and others.

I could go on all day but I’m going to give you the liberty to go on and watch the clips of our aspirants, I’ll leave the link on here for you.

Us, who don’t like to dip our feet in airing our political views for ourselves, we shall leave it for these guys, and munch on on our popcorn. I’m quite entertained so far.

But on a rather serious note, next year should come slowlier.