Feminism in Africa has always felt like a full time job with zero pay, no benefits and constant gaslighting from management also known as the patriarchy. It’s like trying to fix a broken tap while someone keeps opening the main pipe wider. We march, speak up, write think pieces, wear cute Ankara fits with slogans like “My body, my rules” and still, someone’s uncle in the WhatsApp family group is out here reminding us women to “know our place.” The only place I know is the soft couch where I sit while dismantling misogyny in my head.

The truth is patriarchy in Africa didn’t just fall from the sky. It’s been marinated over centuries colonialism sprinkled some extra seasoning, religion brought the grill and society sat down to enjoy the feast. So here we are in 2025 and women are still being told they’re too loud, too independent, too ambitious, too unmarried or God forbid too feminist.

The patriarchy in Africa is not a quiet neighbor, it’s that noisy landlord who knocks at 6 a.m.  From boardrooms to boda bodas, women are reminded every day that their existence is a negotiation. A woman gets promoted and suddenly it’s Who did she sleep with? instead of Wow, she worked hard. And if we get started on marriage discourse. African aunties will say things like, All that book knowledge won’t cook for your husband. The amount of internalised misogyny the women of this era have to deal with is actually quite sad. Second of all, why are we still defining a woman’s value through a pot of beans? 

But here’s the twist plot, misandry, the disdain of men has quietly crept in like that one friend who wasn’t invited but brought snacks, so now nobody’s asking them to leave. Many African and Black women are exhausted. Soul deep tired. For years, we’ve watched the system favor men at every corner, from jobs, land rights, politics, even how loud you can talk in public without being labeled disrespectful. We’ve seen women silenced, gaslit, blamed and forced into respectability politics. So some women have started responding with a nice, thick layer of “men are trash” energy. It’s not that all men are actually trash, it’s that women are finally rejecting the emotional labour of sugarcoating oppression. 

African feminism today is basically navigating a battlefield with no helmet. On one side, there’s the old school patriarchy still preaching “submission” like it’s a spiritual gift. On the other, there’s modern misogyny, men with ring lights and podcasts saying things like, “Feminism is destroying the African home.The misandry train didn’t start because women hate men. It started because women have been holding the microphone screaming “Can you hear us?” for centuries and men were too busy playing patriarchal golf. This isn’t about hating sons, husbands or brothers. It’s about rebalancing power. It’s about making sure little girls don’t grow up thinking their worth is tied to serving someone else like in Somalia where men are rioting because child marriages are being banned 

What’s especially spicy about African feminism right now is the way the new generation women are flipping the script. They are calling out misogyny and rejecting old dusty gender roles. And the gag is misandry is sometimes just women finally not centering men in their lives. It’s not rage, it’s boundaries. It’s refusing to mother grown men who still think cooking is gendered. It’s choosing peace over performance. It’s laughing at misogyny like a bad joke at a comedy club.

The Patriarchy is not going down without a fight. For every feminist who speaks up, there’s a troll yelling “You’ll die alone.”  But maybe she’d rather die alone than die exhausted from cooking for a man who doesn’t even want to boil himself water.

Feminism in Africa isn’t about becoming the oppressor; it’s about dismantling systems that never loved us to begin with. Misandry isn’t a movement, it’s a mirror. And if men don’t like the reflection, maybe they should stop being the image. Until then, African feminists will keep doing what we do best: resisting, thriving, tweeting, healing and looking very good while doing it.