The Rent Is Due and So Is the Reckoning: Africa’s Oldest Scam, Explained
This is for anyone who has ever been told to “calm down” while being robbed in broad daylight. Let me paint you a picture. A mining company rolls into your village, let’s say KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa. They bring suits, paperwork, government handshakes, and a very confident PowerPoint. They take the land your grandfather farmed. They…
Everybody Has an Opinion, Not A Uterus
There’s something deeply African about how everyone has an opinion on your womb. Your aunties. Your pastor. That one uncle who only appears at weddings and funerals but somehow has a PhD in “what women should do.” Even the government, casually sitting somewhere drafting policies like your uterus is a national resource. And the thing…
Accent Politics: When Your Voice Decides How Intelligent You’re Treated
I noticed something funny the other day in a WhatsApp voice note. You know how Africans love voice notes. Paragraphs. Episodes. Entire podcasts sent at 7:13am. (why are you even talking at this ungodly hour of the day- says a midnight owl) Anyway, two people were explaining the same thing in a group chat. Same…
African Parents And Emotional
If African parents had a love language, it might be Acts of Service with a minor in Emotional Silence. Not silence because there’s no love. Silence because the love shows up wearing a completely different outfit. Your mother wakes up at 5:30 a.m. to cook before work. Your father sends you money and the only…
The Weight Of Being The One Who Made It
You ever notice how, as Africans, we treat “making it” like some sacred rite of passage we spend that 99.9% of life is preparing you for? From the moment your uncle asks “So when are you coming back with a PhD AND a condo in Dubai?”, we are baptized in expectations that aren’t even ours…
The Wallet vs The Dollar: A Toxic Relationship
There are two things guaranteed to humble an African adult: checking your bank balance on a Monday morning and asking, “Wait… wasn’t fuel cheaper last week?” Because currency instability in Africa is not just economics. It is a full blown emotional experience. One day you are financially confident. The next day the exchange rate sneezes…
The Gospel According To Missing Funds
If Africa were a group chat, faith would be the loudest voice note. That’s not even a debate because listen. We are a continent that will pray before the meeting, pray during the meeting and then pray about why the meeting didn’t work. Meanwhile, the budget has vanished like your crush after you finally confessed.…
Being Single in a Society That Sees You as “Incomplete”
Being single in African households is somewhat of a job. Not because you’re lonely. And you’re searching. Because every family gathering turns into a live panel discussion titled “What Is Wrong With You?” You’ll be minding your business, chewing your meat in peace and someone’s aunt will lean over like she’s about to reveal state…
The Sidewalks Are Full Of Stories Too
You ever walk down a busy avenue in Africa, say Kampala’s Kikuubo at 2 pm on a Monday and feel like your eyeballs have gone into hyper focus mode? Like, every honking boda boda and guy selling Rolex watches (this is me humouring you 😂) are standing out, but then there’s… nothing. No actually human faces,…
The Beat As A Daily Life
Growing up in an African household means your first relationship with music was never consensual, it simply happened to you. One day you’re five years old, minding your business, the next you know every lyric of a song you do not understand, performed by an uncle who treats the radio like a sacred object. Music…
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